Now I know I am not alone in this one! Mom guilt is so real and I’ll be honest, I think ‘mom guilt’ is exclusive to moms. Now, before you chase me down the street with your pitchforks, let me explain. I wholly believe dads feel guilt on many levels. I just think dad guilt is a little more realistic. For example, my husband feels guilty if he misses a moment while he’s working, or maybe he feels guilt when we are out on date night and we don’t bring them back an ice cream.

Whereas mom guilt feels all of those things but also the ridiculous things like when your baby is still new and you sneak away for the first shower you’ve had in a few days, but then the baby starts crying. I think a normal person would be like, “it’s okay. Dad (or whoever) is right there, trying to calm the baby.” But not mom, especially in those early days; she’s jumping out of the shower, half washed, because she is just certain the baby needs her and only her.

Another silly example: I have spent ALL DAY with my kids. Played one-on-one with each of them. Spent the day fulfilling their needs and wishes. We cuddled, colored, created, and more. When Dad gets home, I get a moment to sneak out and exercise—a vital part of staying healthy for myself and my family. A few steps in and BOOM! I hear the cries through the door, and the guilt begins. I know, I know, this is subjective. Obviously, not EVERY mom goes through this, but I know I am not in the minority with this one. Mom guilt is soooo real and such a plague. Like, why can’t my brain be rational when it comes to my kids?

I know, why is she on a tangent, don’t worry this all ties in. I spend all day with my kids, every single day. Just the way I wanted it when I chose to be a mom. I love it! But as we all know, occasionally we need a break. My husband so graciously takes kid duty over for some time in the evening so I can exercise. That alone makes me feel guilty. So how could I possibly sacrifice any more time to chase this dream of being a successful author? I write when and wherever I can. Sometimes it’s on my cell in the waiting room. Sometimes I stay up late and write. Often I find the time during nap time.

But Greer, when do you get your laundry done, or the dishes clean or supper cooked? Admittedly, it’s not always easy or a smooth process. I am lucky in the fact that my mother lives with us and is a huge help in the laundry department! Well, in a lot of departments, but laundry is the one that I am most thankful for. A household of five, laundry builds up quick! Another huge help is my husband. He is a very 50/50 kind of guy, and I don’t mean the kind that counts what he does outside the house as 50/50. He helps with cleaning; he and my mother are the main cooks – I don’t enjoy cooking at all – and he’s a huge help with life in general. So thankful for the two of them! I’d be remiss to not mention the rest of our ‘village,’ as some people refer to it. My in-laws are fantastic and help at the drop of a hat. They never make me feel any type of way for asking for help. Our siblings who live close by are a huge help as well.

I am saying, I know I have more help than a lot of parents out there and I am so thankful for that! However, I am most certainly the primary caretaker of my children and family, so it is still very hard to sneak away, and when I do, I am FULL of ridiculous guilt. As women, we are so attuned to service. It’s literally in our nature to want to nurture and take care of others. So when we do find time to take care of ourselves, it almost feels wrong. But like anything, the more we do it, the easier it gets. I’ve been exercising consistently every day for about four months now. At first, it split my heart open to leave the kids crying and wanting me (even though I’ve been with them all day). But now, they bring me my tennis shoes and tell me to try hard! It makes it so much easier to take the time for myself now. They’re understanding about mommy’s time, and I am too. Now my older boys tell me when they’re ‘old’ they are going to exercise their bodies and take care of themselves like mommy does.

Now, just like i did with my daily workouts, i am training my kids for an hour in the mornings, while daycare babies take their naps, my kids are to play quietly or outside because Mom is going to be writing. It’s not been the smoothest transition but i know if i stick with it, we will get there!

My goal was to have the sequel to my novel, written by Jul and out by September. It’s not looking like it will be finished by August and out by October. But hey, that’s life! That is the reality of wearing so many hats. If I – a natural-born perfectionist – let that get to me, I would never get anything finished. ‘Progress over perfection’ is a statement I LIVE by. Because the majority of my life I’ve been an all or nothing kind of gal. But becoming a mother and wife, and allowing myself growth, has taught me that one percent is far greater than zero.

To my readers out there, if you are like me, and feel immense guilt doing for yourself occasionally, or maybe you feel like you shouldn’t start because you won’t be able to stay on your timeline, just go for it. Find a way and make it happen. Life is too short for all that nonsense!

Until next time, ladies & gents~