Do you ever suffer from impostor syndrome?

Definitions from Oxford Languages 

im·pos·tor syn·drome

noun

noun: impostor syndrome

1. the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

I know I am not the only person who suffers from impostor syndrome. Right? I don’t understand how I see all the hard work that goes into whatever I am trying to accomplish, but once I reach my goal, I feel like I somehow cheated. I know, deep, right off the bat, but I did warn you. I don’t like shallow conversations….

So, tell me, am I the only one with these feelings? I don’t think I am. For instance, when I published my book, one of my best girlfriends decided to throw me a book launch party. It was wonderfully thoughtful and tastefully done. As the event started, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that I didn’t do enough to deserve this. It’s silly because, objectively, I understand that publishing a book is a big deal. Hell, writing a novel is a big deal. I worked so hard to write my book. Then I worked even harder (and spent plenty of money) to self-publish, but yet, I felt like I didn’t deserve the praise. I know what you’re thinking, this sounds like a great conversation for your therapist. But I don’t want to hear from them. I want to hear from you, my readers. I want to know I am not alone in this. I believe that men and women alike will experience these emotions at some point in their lives. Or if you’re more like me, maybe all the time…

At what point do we tell our subconscious to screw off and allow ourselves to feel the pride? Is it society that tells us we shouldn’t take pride in our hard work? I notice my family and friends achieve impressive things, yet they downplay their accomplishments.  Is this a societal result of ‘No Child Left Behind’ or because we were encouraged not to discuss success? Is it the perfectionist in each of us? Or maybe a conglomerate of it all? I mean, is it cultural? Do people outside of the United States feel this way?

There has to be a happy medium between celebrating our success and staying humble. There is power in staying humble. I genuinely believe that. But am I losing something because I’m trying to be too humble? Is trying to be humble what caused my impostor issue? Isn’t it funny how easy it is for us to celebrate others’ successes, but honoring our own feels impossible? Make it make sense! I was ecstatic to publish. It has been a lifelong dream, but even now, six months later, I still feel weird telling others I am an author.

So today I am giving you another assignment. I’m going to start with you on this one. Let’s make celebrating ourselves the new norm. I am tired of feeling like I don’t belong on the podium when I worked so hard to get there. Let’s start celebrating our wins and normalizing the losses. When you start with the sense of feeling like maybe you don’t belong, shake that head and remember you fought to get there. I am going to remind myself that I belong on the podium just as much as the next person. I’d love to hear about all your wins. I want to celebrate you guys too!

until next time ladies & gents ~